Thursday, April 16, 2009

Welcome to our Family Blog!

Thank you for all of your prayers, thoughts, and concerns. I have created this blog to keep my mom's family and friends updated on how she is doing. You all know that on August 8, 2008, my mom was diagnosed with Mixed Mullerian Sarcoma. A few weeks later, she had a total hysterectomy, and we were devastated to learn that the tumor in her uterus had expanded her entire uterus, and had spread to other parts of her body. The surgeon gave us the news that she would probably only live for 5-6 months. She began chemo at the beginning of October. The chemo worked a little bit on the cancer in her bones, but it didn't have much of an effect on some of the tumors in her abdomen. So, they upped the regimen and added a new medicine to stop the blood flow to the tumors. We aren't sure if that worked, or not, because my mom had a large open wound on her abdomen because of the surgery that she had back in August- it wasn't stapled properly, and infection after infection caused it to get bigger and bigger. The chemo was also preventing it from healing. 

In December, her blood counts were dangerously out of whack, she was suffering from C. Diff (sp?) and she spent the week before Christmas in the hospital. She had a blood transfusion and massive doses of antibiotics, and she was able to spend Christmas at home with us. The doctors decided to stop chemo for a while to let the wound make some progress. She had a few more procedures to try to help that process, which were working, but my mom still has quite the wound on her stomach. She has had a Wound Vac attached that she has had to take to the Wound Clinic three times a week, where she fostered some very positive relationships with the nurses there. My dad has been very diligent in taking care of her and had the chance to spend two weeks with her on a road trip back east, where my mom felt relatively well. She began going downhill on their way home. A few days after they got home, my dad took her to the ER and she was hooked up to antibiotics for the day, and sent home. They also did a scan of her abdomen and they found that the tumors had grown. Her stomach has been extremely distended and very uncomfortable. She ended up back in the ER on Friday (April 10), and we knew that things weren't looking good. They admitted her into the Intermediate Care Unit, where she received quite intensive care. Her vital signs became more regular, and they changed her room to the oncology floor. They had done another scan on Friday, and we learned that the tumors had grown significantly, even from the scan they had done four days before. She knew then that this was the beginning of the end. 

Her kidneys have started to fail and her stomach is getting more and more distended, even after they had drained a total of 6 1/2 liters of fluid from it. Dr. Tudor, her oncologist, visited her in the hospital Monday morning and told her (and my dad, Tracy, and I who were with her) that her kidneys are going, her tumors are growing, and they can't find the source of the infection that's causing her white blood count to grow exponentially. He told her that in a few days she would go into a coma and slip away peacefully. So, we decided to bring her home so she could be more comfortable. She has been home and we have had lots and lots of visitors. We love having you come and visit, but my mom is so weak and sick that she can barely keep her eyes open. Her mouth is too dry for her to speak comfortably, and she doesn't want anyone to worry about her. She's not afraid of what is coming because she was told that she won't be in too much pain. We keep up on her pain meds, but it's becoming too difficult for her to swallow pills, so we are waiting for an order from the doctor to have a morphine pump attached. 

She can hear us and does respond to us, so if there are any messages you'd like for any of us to pass along to her, please post a comment. We'd love to hear of any memories you have of Mom. We have been so blessed to have her as our mother, wife, sister, daughter, and friend. We have been surrounded by loving family and have all had the chance to say our goodbyes. We have been blessed by so many people who care for our mom. 

35 comments:

  1. That was beautifully written. My condolences with you and your family. I can't imagine how tough the last 6-7 months have been for you! My thought and prayers are with you and your family.

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  2. Andrea, I am so sorry for your family. My family recently went though something similar with my Grandma. I know how hard it was on all of us, and she was a lot older than your Mom...so I can only imagine how hard it must be for all of you. Although I didn't know your Mom, I know that she has a wonderful daughter, and that says a lot of her. My your faith you see you through these trying times. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
    Teresa (Goodwin) Henrie

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  3. To the Green Family,
    I'm having regrets not coming to see your mom during these past few months. Please know though that she has been in my daily prayers and temple prayers. I have always admired and loved your mom. I won't ever forget coming to your home two Christmas's ago and having your mom and dad open their home to my family to see their wonderful village. Your mom took us downstairs to watch The Grinch and my kids and grandkids thought that was so amazing. She even popped popcorn for us.
    I know how you are all feeling at this time. My father passed away when I was 16 yrs. old and my mom when I was 22. It's not fair! They missed out on so much and seeing my children. Please cherish these last moments you have. Please tell her I will miss her and how much I love her. What a great example she's been to me.
    All my love,
    Chris Pyne

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  4. Oh Andrea, my heart is hurting for you and your family right now. Now, I didn't know you mom very well, but I know you, and it seems to me that such a wonderful woman must have been taught by a wonderful mother. I'm in awe of the strength you have demonstrated throughout this ordeal. Much love from the Sullivan home!

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  5. Please tell your Mom how much we love her. We wanted to come say goodbye, but knew it would be better for her if we didn't. As you said, too many visitors. What a special woman she is. We love her and hold the highest respect for her and the life she has lived.
    Sending our love,
    Joe D & Alysia Thomas and kids

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  6. One of the times I came to visit - I took my shoes off in church and was biting my toe nails (YES toe nails) in church during the prayer. I got caught and everyone thought it was so funny. I was little but I remember feeling SO embarrassed. Marilyn sat me on her lap and I don't remember quite what she said, but I remember feeling better after our little chat.
    I remember feeling like I was at home when staying at your home. Ronnie and I had so much fun and Marilyn always made sure we weren't board. She always made sure we had thought of everything we could do to take advantage of the time we had together.
    I have told my mom this, but I am so grateful that my mom and her sisters always stayed close and made the effort to stay in contact so I could connect with my cousins, aunts, and uncles in a way that many don't get to experience.
    I know who my aunt Marilyn is. I know that she is an amazing woman who would do anything for me. I know that she is good and cares for everyone no matter the situation. She has such a fun personality and she likes to have fun. She is so knowledgeable. She loves her family.
    I love you aunt marilyn.

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  7. She was my second mom all through college... what can I say! I am so sorry you are going through this right now. She has always been so easy to talk to and raised an amazing family!! Call me if you ever just need to get out. I'd love to sit and chat.

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  8. I feel the same way about your mom as Shandra does. When I lived there in Orem near you guys I always felt like she was my mom away from home. Not once did I ever feel unwelcome in your home. Being able to walk in whenever and just hang out, even if none of you kids are there and talk to your mom is great. I love the way your mom yells for you guys, "ANDREA!" "TRAVIS!" "RONNIE!". I love hearing her play the piano so beautifully. I'll always remember looking across the room in the temple where Ryan, Ben and I were sealed and seeing Marilyn's sweet smile. She ALWAYS smiles. She's just got a happy face!
    My biggest memory is sitting at the counter with her while she watched Fox News on the little TV in the kitchen and giggling about things. I love the way your parents interact with each other also. I respect how much love they have for each other and how close they are. I've missed going over to your house since being all the way over here in GA, and having a good talk with your mom. She's the best.

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  9. To The Green Family,

    We moved into the ward about 5 years ago, when our youngest was going into the nursery. Haley Jo didn't like people back then, only me. So naturally, we were nervous about her first time in nursery. Marilyn was one of the nursery workers then, and she was perfect for that calling. We walked in that first Sunday, with Haley in my arms, and Marilyn just held her arms out, and my Haley Jo went right into them. We were astonished! Haley never went to anyone like that! But she loved Sister Green. Marilyn was always ready with a smile on her lips, and a kind word for anyone who was around. Her loving heart and kind ways will be missed. We love you Sister Green!
    Love,
    The Nielsen Family
    Kyle, Ivy, James, Leilani, and especially Haley Jo.

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  10. It has been many years since my family moved from the orem neiborhood. We lived just down the road from the greens. Your mom was always so sweet to me. Even though I did not always show up to church she always made me feel welcome. You have such a wonderful family and I am so blessed that I grew up near all of you. My thoughts and preyers are with. What a wonderful mother and friend to all.

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  11. Oh, I have so many great memories ...Just thinking of your mom makes me smile. I remember Travis made a coffee cake and gave me a slice. Your mom was walking past and I said, "Sister Green, does coffee cake have real coffee in it?" She responded, "Um, I'm not sure, I will eat it for you just in case." I love your mom and she will always have a special place in my heart. Please send my love to her and your family,
    Susan (Hanson) Johnson

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  12. If I were to try and describe your mom in one word it would have to be 'selfless'. I have never seen anyone as willing to offer up her own needs and wants to make others happy as Marilyn. I had the blessing of being able to live with the Green's (rent free, another example of how giving the Green's are) while I was going through a really tough time in my life. Their home was a real safe haven for me and I loved watching Marilyn create a fun and happy environment for her family. She was a great example to me of Motherhood and my experience living in her home made it possible for me to progress and move on in my own life. My favorite memory of her is every time I saw her clean her kitchen she would put a black trash bag on with holes for her arms and head so she wouldn't get wet or dirty as she cleaned. I thought it was wonderful. I feel very lucky to be one of the many, many recipients of her acceptance,hospitality, and warmth.

    Jennifer Hakanson

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  13. Deanna and everyone in the Green family;
    I love you and pray for you and your Mom. I want you to know that I have kept you constantly in my thoughts and prayers, even though I have not been physically present. I know I would have been welcome to come over any time, but I didn't want to rob you of a single moment with your Mom. Hugs and kisses to everyone.
    Deanna, please let your Mom know for me that I always felt welcomed and accepted as part of her family and I love her for that. Call me anytime if you need me!

    Love, Kathy

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  14. New Years Eve will always be etched in my memories of Marilyn (and Ed) We have partied and eaten and watched movies and welcomed in the new year for many many years. What great times we have had. Thanks for your example of generosity and concern and for your wit. You always kept us laughing!! You are loved.
    Annalene

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  15. To the Green family,
    You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this trial. May you feel the loving arms of our Savior around you. I pray that you will have the accompaniment of angels and that Father in Heaven's presence may be felt near. I know that there are many, many friends and loved ones praying for your family. May you feel lifted up by them and feel heaven's comfort.
    With love,
    Kelly Vanbuskirk Ratliff
    (former companion of Tracy)

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  16. Marilyn & Ed - As you may know I have been out of action with minor surgery, but have been following the events and offering regular prayers with Karen seeking the Lord's hand in coming events. I will still exercise my prerogative as Bishop to at least knock on your door tonight. I will then behave as you direct. My visit with Marilyn Sunday included her recognition of blessings in the midst of righteous sadness. All the best.
    --Terry Olson

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  17. Marilyn, Ed, and Family:
    I have thought of you often since hearing of Marilyn's cancer. A friend of Andrea -- Teresa Goodwin -- forwarded the blog to me. I wish there were something I could say to ease the pain all of you are experiencing. I so enjoyed getting to know your whole family when I was at BYU. I am glad Ed and Marilyn stopped by Malad a couple of years ago. Where would we be without the gospel at all times but especially when you are about to say good-by for a little while to your wife, mother, and grandmother?Please know that I am thinking about all the good times we had when I was working for Greenhouse Productions. Sincerely, Jean Thomas

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  18. I am glad I got to visit for a minute yesterday. We love you all and pray all the time that you will feel a sense of peace as each day goes on. Marilyn was my visiting teacher many years ago. I remember that my hair was starting to get this "lovely" band of white on one side and across the top to the other side. I told her I wondered if I should start coloring it or not. She said, "just do it" and I said, "what color, I don't even know". "Just use ash blond like me!!" So I went and bought it and colored my hair as directed by my visiting teacher!! tee hee Well eventually it was so white I finally stopped coloring it, as Tracy noticed yesterday. "I love the color of your hair" she said. There is no color. Later I realized white is the presence of all the colors. ha ha
    Marilyn called us the day our son Darrell was in his car accident and said "I was just reading about steroids, make sure they give him steroids". They did give him steroids and he ended up being able to walk again. She was always on the look out for information. We love you Marilyn. Thanks for all you have done.
    Love, Jennilyn Mauerman

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  19. Please tell Marilyn how much I loved serving in Primary with her, and how much I appreciated her welcoming love! ~ Love, Rhonda Seiter

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  20. Bob tells me often how much he loves the Green family, and has ever since he began hometeaching. Every visit with Ed and Marilyn brought such funny, or amazing, or faith-building stories from their lives and their marriage, for him to share with me. What an amazing couple of living-life-to-its-fullest friends! The blessing we were given to be called to assist Ed & Marilyn with the Ward Monthly Birthday Parties... was that Ed's idea or Marilyn's? -- made the past year such a treat. Bob and Nancy learned how Marilyn and Ed always throw such a great party! Ed knows all the fun party "stuff" and Marilyn knows all of the sweet and subtle stuff to make everyone feel at home with her. I always did. Bob and I pray for your comfort, each of you, Greens, that you will know you are encircled in the arms of His love... that you will feel it as certainly as Marilyn does. With love, the Petersons.

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  21. I was lucky enough to teach most of the Green daughters in YW. Only an outstanding mom could produce such tremendous daughters. Due to the Green’s generosity with their condo in Park City, lots of Laurel’s enjoyed the traditional Laurel sleep over. Good times!

    Our family has also loved the yearly Christmas Village and movie at the Green’s. It takes a heck of a woman to graciously allow strangers to roam around in her home for at least one month every year! It also takes a heck of a woman to support her husband’s Christmas Village obsession, er, I, uh, mean hobby, without complaint! Kudos Marilyn!

    Hugs,
    Jeanne Bates

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  22. You are wonderful, warm and loving people who have been an example to all of walking the talk and never ceasing to share the joy of your Christmas display or your home theater with your friends and neighbors.

    There are great miracles experienced at times like these. Look for those blessings, embrace them and hold them (and each other) tight. They flee quickly, but the memories will remain in your heat (and soul)forever.

    We love you guys. Paul, Marcie, Peter, John & Heather Molnar

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  23. Lanny and I send our love to all of you and want you to know that you have been in our prayers every day. What a great example of a loving, fun couple you are. The birthday parties were so much fun. You always made everyone feel so welcome and important.

    Marilyn, you brought such warmth and love with you as you played the piano for Primary. Your smile and generous spirit helped fill the room with happy feelings. I can't remember ever seeing you without a smile on your face.

    What a wonderful example you are. I admire your courage in the face of these difficult times you have been going through. May the Lord bless you with sweet, comforting feelings, and the knowledge that you have made such an important difference for good in the lives of so many people.

    Lanny came home from your home the other day with such a strong feeling of love for both of you. He deeply admires your combined strength in the face of what appears to be inevitable. He admired your frank faith in the reality of life on the other side and the truth of Heavenly Father's eternal plan.

    With our love,
    Shirley and Lanny Britsch

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  24. I was Marilyn's Visiting Teacher when they came to Indiana University. Like all graduate students with young families, there wasn't much money. Most of the LDS grad students lived in Hoosier Courts, a low income housing complex. Since most of the occupants were LDS, we lovingly nicknamed it the Mormon Ghetto. Much of the furniture in these apartments were left by the previous occupants or scavaged from dumpsters at the end of semesters. Ed and Marilyn's couch didn't have any legs and it was a long drop as you were welcomed by being invited to have a seat. There were no apologies or need for any as we sat and visited. Marilyn was always happy and willing to serve and I looked forward to those visits. There was a certain camaraderie among the LDS families who lived there as they shared their circumstance of little money, firm testimonies, and service.

    Our oldest daughter and husband, Kim and Dan Griesemer became good friends when they all lived in Utah and shared many experiences. The last time I saw Marilyn was at Dan's funeral almost five years ago and it was like it had been yesterday when we met again. None of us could imagine that Marilyn's life would also be cut short. How grateful I am to have been her Visiting Teacher during Ed's student years. She made my day!

    We send our love and prayers,
    Nancy and John Hopkins

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  25. Marilyn, I just want to say thanks for being part of the Palmer family and all the good times we had growing up. Your family was always a fun place to visit when we went to Preston. You will be missed here but what a party on the other side when you make your grand entrance. I can just see your mom getting ready for you along with your brothers, my dad and of course our grandparents. What a comfort to know we are families forever.

    We send our love and prayer to you and your family.
    Joyce and Ron Delphy

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  26. Dear Marilyn, Ed and Family:
    What wonderful memories you have made for us through the years. I think back to the time a group of us were riding in your motor home to your family cabin at Bear Lake. We sat in the back and laughed and laughed the whole way. You took us through some caves, like Carlsbad, and we were the last people allowed to go through. I guess we took too much time because the rangers thought everyone had exited so they turned the lights out to lock up. Scary! We froze where we were standing and yelled for quite some time before they rescued us. I think the rangers were your friends from Preston.

    Let's not forget the famous "Pointless Sisters" and their dance routine at the ward talent night. We thought we were pretty funny! "Boy, could we "dance". The group parties were always a lot of fun. You never failed to have a silly, funny joke. Fun stuff! Then there was the "raisin" movie night. We laughed and laughed. I think of the many years you have opened up your home on New Years Eve for food and movies, what hospitality.

    Thank you for sharing part of your life with us. You will always be in our hearts and prayers. We love you guys.
    Rod and Nancy

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  27. My dear friends,
    Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I am so grateful that I, along with Karen Olson & Jane Blackinton, were able to visit with Marilyn & Ed in the hospital last Monday. We were commenting after how Marilyn is always cheerful, always tells you she appreciates your visit.

    I have so many happy memories of being with Ed & Marilyn. She made everyone feel welcome.
    She always laughs as she talks, just has a sparkling personality! My family loved stopping by at Christmas time, seeing the "Christmas Room," watching the movie, and Marilyn would always have goodies all over the bar and tell everyone to get some. Over the years, Dean and I were in their home for various activities with friends so many times. And everyone was welcome. Marilyn never met a stranger!

    A while back, Marilyn and I had a one-on-one visit and we talked about how grateful we are for the gospel. She told me how hard it was to think ofleaving Ed and her children, how she would miss them, but she knew the time would come when they would be together again. I can relate to some of the feelings and challenges you are all facing at this time. It is difficult for the one leaving to think about not being here with family, it is very difficult for the family who knows a loved is going to be leaving and will not be with them for a time. I understand because I been there, done that. But Marilyn and I both know, as do all of you, that you will once again be together as a family forever.

    My prayers & love, Doris Garner

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  28. I have known Marilyn since I was her visiting teacher sooo many years ago. I remember coming to your house when it was not remodeled--the first time. The living room was small compared to now, but Marilyn was just happy to be wherever she was. I loved to hear her tell stories about all the people you had met and all of the places you had lived. And, through the years, you met so many more people and influenced so many more lives.

    We used to walk around the track at OHS and mostly I remembered we complained a lot about our husbands--we were in our 30's and thought we had to fix them somehow. They turned out to be pretty great guys after all of these years of our marriages.

    We cried together over children who were making poor choices and we smiled together over children who had had successes and passed milestones in their lives.

    For the past years of her life, Marilyn was my visiting teacher. We have shared tears, and joy over those years.

    If I ever needed advice, I would call Marilyn. I never liked anyone offering me advice, but I always knew I would get a down to earth and practical consideration to my problem. If my car was broken down somewhere, I would call Marilyn. If I wanted to bring grandkids to see the Christmas display, I would call Marilyn.

    Everyone called on her for lots of things. Now, I don't know who I will call, or who will be so willing to listen.

    We will all have a hard time trying to live life without her light, her love and her laughter.

    Thanks Marilyn for everything. You're the Best.

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  29. The Keller family has so many sweet memories of Marilyn-We have loved being a part of your life and thank you for raising so many wonderful children that have been dear friends to us. We love you!!!!

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  30. I do remember your mom was really fun. I am looking at a similar scenerio in the upcoming months. My mom has pulmonary fibrosis and is going downhill fast. This is a beautiful way to pay tribute to your mom. My prayers are with you...it is hard to let go.

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  31. I'm so glad I know Sister Green and the Green family. I have been so blessed by their love and friendship in my life. I had a great opportunity some months ago to come over and talk with Sister Green. That conversation with her brightened my day and touched my life in a way I just can't adequately express. Thank you, Sister Green, for being a bright and shining example to me of love, hope, joy, strength, and kindness. I sure love you and your family! --Deb Hatch

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  32. Dear Green Family
    Your mom's cousin Janet Peterson Johnson sent me your link. Thank you so much for your blog. I am a longtime friend of Marilyn's. We grew up together in the same Ward in Preston, Idaho. We went to school and church together and some of my fondest childhood memories were in her home. Her parents, Spence and Thora, always welcomed us warmly into their home and put up with a bunch of giggling girls. We had many sleep overs and we always felt so welcome and had such good times.
    I last saw Marilyn at our class reunion the first of August last year. It was so fun to renew acquaintances. She was always so happy and fun to be around.
    It's times like this that reminds me of how fragile life is and how grateful I am for the gospel and the knowledge that Families can be together Forever. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
    Pauline Coburn Esplin

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  33. Dear Green Family:

    I hope that all has been going well the last few days. This blog spot is fantastic and it looks like it has gotten lots of visitors who love your mother. I hope she is doing well, and I will check in with you early this week.

    Steve Eastmond

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  34. Aunt Marylin
    I love you!! Thank you for being a such a great aunt. You have made me feel good about my self and I wanted to thank you for that.
    Missy

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  35. What a sweet looking woman she is (and what a smile!). Y'all must have been very lucky to have been part of the family with her. All my best to you and your family, WiNoJoE.

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